Planes (2013)

 

Did you know that Planes was supposed to be a straight to DVD movie? Perhaps that’s why Pixar is nowhere to be seen in this awful movie that continues the world of Cars into the sky. What we get without Pixar is a film with uninteresting characters with little-to-no background, a load of plane facts and a story that’s kind of ridiculous. I’ll say this a few more times in my review, but the three kids I sat next to at the movie barely smiled or laughed. I think that speaks words.

I, like many, loved Cars and enjoyed Cars 2. Why did I love Cars? Well, Pixar took the time to establish its characters and create a plausible story with an outstanding message. In Planes, Disney tries to copy everything good that was good about Cars (including copies of certain characters and events) and paste it into a world with planes…

Planes follows the endeavors of Dusty Crophopper (Dane Cook), a simpleton crop duster in a town that’s not even on the map (sound familiar), who has always dreamed of being a competitive flyer in a race around the world. To improve his flying skills, he seeks the aid of Skipper (Stacey Keach), an injured plane who was once a great champion and veteran in his day (ring any bells). Accompanied by his friends Chug (Brad Garrett) and Dottie (Teri Hatcher), Dusty manages to make it into the competition!

Along the way, he’ll have to defeat his green, jerk of a nemesis (connecting any dots yet?)  Ripslinger (Roger Craig Smith). With the help of his somewhat crazy buddy (…), El Chupacabra (Carlos Alazraqui) and another opponent that he helped save (think Dinaco), Bulldog (John Cleese), Rusty might just stand a chance. Of course, he must fall in love with a beautiful and stylish plane (need I even continue?) named Ishani (Priyanka Chopra). Will Dusty inevitably win and achieve his dream? (Hint: You’ve already seen this movie. Only, Cars was a billion times better)

Cars with planes and without Pixar just does not work on any level. This film should have stayed on its original path to the dusty shelves of the lone DVD store that’s still around in America. There’s a reason this film was made for straight to DVD, but Disney saw an opportunity to make money, based off of the fact that people loved Cars. Planes will most likely turn a profit, but that does’t mean it’s a good movie. It lacks heart and story and winds up being yet another animated disappointment this year. If you’re still considering spending money to go see this film, please continue reading for my Top Ten Thoughts on Planes!

From above the world of Cars and probably in a different galaxy where crappy movies are successful movies for kids and adults, we get Planes! Real original poster too. An image of the protagonist, followed by his unlikely ally and the antagonist.
From above the world of Cars and probably in a different galaxy where crappy Disney movies are successful movies for kids and adults, we get Planes! Real original poster too! An image of the film’s protagonist, followed by his unlikely ally and the film’s antagonist .

What I Enjoyed

What I Didn’t Enjoy

Dane Cook wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought he’d be.

Disney chose Dane Cook as a lead role in a movie based off of the world of Cars

The movie is only a measly 92 minutes. Fortunately, it doesn’t feel much longer than that.

This movie pretty much emulates most of the story of Cars, but emulates it really poorly.

I was really happy when I guessed that Brad Garrett was mentioned in the film!

The most interesting and enjoyable character in this film is a stereotypical Hispanic plane.

Sinbad’s stereotypical, gangster-speaking African American Announcer provided me with a few laughs.

There are about a million references to plane mechanisms that no one understood.

There are still cars in this film. I enjoy cars.

There are also references to very specific Plane Wars that we’re apparently supposed to know about.

The soundtrack is bold and unique for a kids movie… It’s not like most Disney soundtracks…

There is a scene depicting the deaths of dozens of planes in one of the alluded to Plane Wars… Keep in mind that this a kids movie.

The plane puns were really bad. But that’s why it was funny.

This movie plays out exactly as you expect it would.

The message is still a good one for kids. No matter who you are, you are never limited and can always achieve your dreams.

Planes is to Turbo, as Unrealistic is to Barely Realistic. Neither make any logical sense, but at least Turbo was decent.

I really enjoyed the credits sequence.

I sat next to three children who barely chuckled, let alone smiled at this film.

Planes, as bad as it is, is still an okay movies for anyone under the age of 5 or people with airplane knowledge.

In the end, Planes would have fared better if it was released straight to DVD, as it always should have been.

Overall:

Planes was originally made for a straight to DVD release, so that would explain why they cast Dane Cook as a lead role and why the story and characters are so lackluster. This film is the antithesis to Pixar’s Cars in every way, shape and form. Not even the kids next to me enjoyed watching it. The film is chock full of plane facts that no one but the average plane enthusiast will understand and is also filled with references to Plane Wars that apparently happened sometime in the past. It’s not the worst movie ever, but that doesn’t mean it’s anywhere close to being a decent one. If you liked Cars, stay as far away as you can from Planes!

Planes Trailer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ch39vLdQi1g

1.5 STARS!!!

1.5 / 5 stars     

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: